Adults are big kids, don't you agree?
I often see articles on the topic: "When can I become a parent?" They write that it's better to be 30; after you "walk around", when you have your own place and stable financial income. In general, they write a lot of things. I'm not going to belittle the importance of age, housing, and the experience of "living for myself." But at the same time, it seems to me that the determining factor of "when it's possible" is the ability to be an adult and react in an adult way to your child's behavior.
Love your inner child
Being an adult means becoming an adult, loving and growing up your "child self", accepting your inner child. After all, only an adult can separate behavior and personality, and this skill is oh so useful for future parents.
An immature "childish self" prevents you from truly seeing your child. And it's hard enough to accept that he/she is yelling not because he/she hates you and is trying to destroy you with sound waves, but because your teeth are teething or your tummy hurts. It is very difficult for any adult to maintain adequacy at such moments, and even more so for an "immature" adult. "The child's self" will be offended, indignant and furious. After all, I want to sleep, and I'm tired of endless whims, and it's hard to carry on my hands, and in general: "When will there be peace and quiet and I will be left alone? I don't want anyone else to change the diaper!"
Show emotion
Being an adult is being able to express your emotions, both positive and negative.
Being an adult means understanding why you want to get so angry now, kick your child in the ass, kill your husband and pets.: Is this a child's behavior or your accumulated fatigue? If you're tired, be an adult: leave the room, cry about your failed life, lost youth, and your own ambitions, and come back tearful but calm.
So, become parents when you learn to notice and love, that is, to raise, your "child self". After all, this is the only way we can truly love our children.
Working with the inner child
How to raise an "inner child"?
Be attentive to yourself! Are you tired? Are you hungry? Do you want to be alone?
— Ask your husband and grandmothers to help, invite a babysitter for a couple of hours a week; let the child cry for two minutes and eat a sandwich and go to the toilet.
2. Allow yourself to be "small"
- Ask for support, hugs from a loved one: husband, girlfriend. Moan, cry, worry, it will immediately become easier. You have the right to do so.
3. Please not only the child, but also yourself.
-If you have time for shopping, this is not a reason to buy only pacifiers-books-toys-clothes for your child, but time to please yourself. Mom is not waste material!
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