Jeannie Mai Jenkins opened up about her journey through pregnancy and what made her change her mind on her YouTube channel.
“This is so weird I’m like having a surreal moment right now of talking about how I changed my mind. I would never have thought this was an episode,” she said, starting off her video.
“I’m still in awe that I’m actually sitting here talking about this, I’m pregnant. In a million years if you took every penny I have and everything I love in my life and bet that I would be pregnant I would absolutely bet against myself, and here I am this is a real full-circle moment for me I’m so in awe,” she said.
She went on to talk about keeping a diary when she was younger, and how now her YouTube channel was her diary.
Through her YouTube, Jenkins has shared her life with her fans and posting some of her most vulnerable moments.
Before sharing her journey to changing her mind, Jenkins said, ” I was always and still am very protective of women and people who don’t want to have kids. I don’t like the guilt and the pressure that’s placed on women to have children, just because we’re women it means that we have the choice it doesn’t mean that we have to have children, it means that we have the choice.”
She shared that at the beginning of her and her husband’s relationship, they were open about not wanting kids.
Her husband already had two children of his own, and Jenkins had her mind set on never having children of her own.
“We both were really okay being two grown adults in our 40s dating and not wanting children. In fact, it seemed relieved that there was no pressure on either side, so that was our plan. As you know you’re always gonna have plans and then God reminds you who’s in charge.”
She shared that throughout her and her husband Jeezy’s relationship, she felt differently about many things and that they were able to grow in love and as people.
Jenkins opened up vivid dreams she had during her pregnancy of past traumas and said that she realized she had never felt so safe as she did with the baby inside of her and her husband by her side.
“I think the reason why I’ve always said I don’t want to have kids is because I didn’t trust myself to actually protect somebody else from that. The truth is, it still scares me if I can still do that, you know, still scares me on whether or not I can keep a kid safe from someone else who might hurt them. It scares me if my child will be in a situation and not be able to tell me, or if I’m not going to be there to help them or something could happen,” she said.
“My child’s not going to have the same relationship with their parents that I had with mine. They’re going to have a relationship with me that I’m going to cultivate, and make stronger, and more communicative, and more open and fluid than any other relationship I’ve ever had in my life, and I know that I have a partner that also feels the same way,” said Jenkins.
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