The Importance of Having Difficult Conversations with Yourself

According to an article on, people need to ask themselves questions that make them uncomfortable from time to time because it can lead to personal growth.

In a recent episode on “The Real,” the hosts discussed some of the difficult questions they’ve had to ask themselves that other people may need to ask themselves as well.

Garcelle Beauvais shared the most difficult conversation she had with herself was early on when she was trying to pursue acting.

Beauvais said that when she first got to LA she wasn’t getting cast, which led her to have doubts and eventually ask herself a tough question.

“I drove to the beach and I sat there and I thought, ‘What do I want to do? Is this really what I want to do?’ and not only did I pose the question to myself, I then posed the question to God and said, ‘God, is this what I’m supposed to do because I’m finding it hard to find my way,” she said.

Asking that question helped Beauvais realize that acting was her passion and she continued to push and pursue it.

“I think no matter what you want to do if the passion is there and you believe that you really want to do it, then you got to keep going,” she said.

For Adrienne Houghton, her hardest question was related to love.

“One of the hardest conversations I think I had to have was when I was in a relationship with someone I loved and they didn’t love me back,” she said. “I think that’s a really hard honest conversation to have with yourself when you keep forcing something and pushing something and trying to make something happen.”

She shared that at that moment, there were times she felt the person she was dating didn’t even like her and that she changed herself to fit his standard and lost herself in the process.

“I had to realize that I deserved to be loved,” she said.

For Loni Love, the toughest question she’s had to ask herself is one many others wonder themselves: “Why do some people not like me?”

It is difficult to take the criticism others put onto you, but it’s important to be mindful that everyone is going to have an opinion and that doesn’t make it true.

Love said that through mindfulness and meditation, she learned that “everybody’s just not gonna dig you, and that’s okay.”

“You still can live a good life and you have to learn to take the rejections, to take the criticism, and understand that you’re okay you’re not everybody’s cup of tea,” said Love.

The hosts discussed the importance of letting go of other people’s standards and not losing yourself trying to please others because it is simply unrealistic and unattainable.

“Being women of color is even worse I believe because it’s like to prove ourselves you put us on a stage and a platform and now we represent a certain image,” said Love.
Love also said that no matter how old anyone is, growth is constant, so trying to fit a certain image doesn’t work.
The hosts also added that once they stopped trying to conform, doors began to open up for them.

Photo Credit: